Marriage Quotes: Marriages are blessings of ALLAH,Marriage is the beginning of a life-long commitment to somebody.Marrying the person that you love and loves you back is probably one of the best feelings you could ever experience.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.Marriage is a form of discipline involving two people committing to a certain lifestyle and set of boundaries.In my mind, marriage is a spiritual partnership and union in which we willingly give and receive love, create and share intimacy, and open ourselves to be available and accessible to another human being in order to heal, learn and grow.
Marriage Quotes
”90 % of being married is just shouting’’ what’’ from other rooms”
”Don’t fight when you are tired or hungry”
”Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life’’
”A healthy marriage is fueled by healthy communication”
Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” ~ Mark Twain
“Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.” ~Gene Perret
“A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” ~ Andre Maurois
“There is no more lovely, friendly and charmingrelationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” ~ Martin Luther
“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and call it love – true love.” ~ Robert Fulghum, True Love
”My wife just told me she understands the questions as to why but hates answering any of them. Can only try”
”I don’t know why people congratulate on marriage I think condolences is a better option.
On my marriage day”
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”If your wife says go and sleep on a sofa instead bed, go and sleep please if u will wait, after some time you will be on floor”
”Marriage is like a deck of cards . all you need in the beginning is two hearts and diamonds. After 10 years you need a club and spade”
”If you want a happy life, keep your mouth shut and open your checkbook”
”The only thing which can make happy your wife is nothing”
”If your wife can not find anything about you in your phone, always type on google ‘’ my husband with girl’’
Love Marriage Quotes
”Who says ‘’washing dishes is the responsibility of a wife, go ahead and wash them”
”Sometimes people say you can not live without marriage, I think oxygen is more important”
”Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and other is husband”
”Husband is the head of family and wife is the neck that turns the head around”
”My wife and I always compromise, I admit I am wrong and she agrees”
”In our marriage everything is 50/50 .i cook he eats, I wash he wears, I shop he pays”
”Behind every unsuccessful person, there is a successful wife”
Marriage is a romantic story, in which hero dies in the first chapter.
May you grow so rich your widow’s second husband never has to worry about living?
Marriage based on common sense and mutuality is one of the greatest things of life.
May there be a generation of children, on the children of your children.
We had a happy marriage because we were together all the time. We were friends as well as husband and wife. We just had a good time.
Talk six times with the same single lady, and you may get the wedding dress ready.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
When a wife has a good husband it will be easily seen on her face.
Hold your wife’s hand in the mall because if you let go, she’ll start shopping. It looks Romantic, but it’s actually Economic.
One day my wife’s credit card got stolen..what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife. LOL!
I think I’m starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven’t seen any money through the entire house.
I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
A good marriage is like a game of chess, the queen should always protect her king.
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
Never yell at each other, unless the house is on fire. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.
”Make love, not war—– or marry,,,,, than you can do both”
”When a man opens a car for his wife, it is neither a new car or new wife”
”Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence”
Funny Marriage Quotes for newlyweds
Marriage is like a spicy shwarma for newlyweds, always crazy for the first bite. these funny wedding quotes for newlyweds are just super amazing”
”I am going to get married again, but I am mature now and I need some kitchen stuff”
”Marriage is a workshop where the husband works and wife shops”
”Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome”
When we got married I told my wife ‘If you leave me, I’m going with you.’ And she never did.” – James Fineous McBride
“I’m a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too — for being married so many times.”- Elizabeth Taylor
“If I get married, I want to be very married.” – Audrey Hepburn
“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” – Dame Agatha Christie
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half-shut afterwards.” – Benjamin Franklin
“What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility.” – Leo Tolstoy
“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” – Oscar Wilde
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“We had a happy marriage because we were together all the time. We were friends as well as husband and wife. So we just had a good time.” – Julia Child
“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my love to marry me.” – Sir Winston Churchill
“At every party there are two kinds of people … those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” – Ann Landers
“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.” – Albert Einstein
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. – Michel de Montaigne
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Married Life is so easy, it’s just like a walk in the park. But the problem is that the park is..’Jurassic Park!’
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remember anniversaries and another who never forgets them. – Ogden Nash
Never laugh at your wife’s choices, you are one of them; Never be proud of your choices, your wife is one of them.
Maths after marriage is simple. If you have $20 and your wife has $5, she has $25 ????
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can’t live without each other.
My Marriage in on the rock again yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Our delight knows no bounds on the day of your wedding. Wish that you carry this serene bond from strength to strength with each passing day.
Today I promise you all of my tomorrows.
”Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him’’
”If you want your wife listens to you then talk to another woman; she will be all on ears”
” I love being married, it is so great to find a special person, you want to annoy for the rest of your life”
”There are only three things women needs in their life, food water and compliments”
”We were worried for better or worse, I could not have done better and she could not have done worse”
”An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have, the older she gets, the more interested he is in her”
”I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as husband.i have the dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon. and a cat that comes home late night”
”HUSBAND and WIFE, even a single alphabet is not repeated in them and going to live a whole life”
”Caring your wife is just a waste of time, she will never give you worth, care for other women, she will definitely give you worth”
Funny Marriage Jokes
You can not shout crazy jokes on your friend but funny texts with long jokes can amaze them even for newlyweds but it would be more amazing when two married couple share their experiences in-jokes.
One friend complained to another, “All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.”
“If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asked the second friend.
“I’d like to lose another 15 pounds first.”
”Marriage is a three-ring circus engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering”
I received an invitation for a wedding. I answered: Maybe next time. Thanks.
I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.
Me as best man:
I heard the best man’s speech should last as long as the groom lasts in bed. Thank you very much for your attention. Enjoy the wedding.
A: Because our laws protect us against cruel and unusual punishment.My wife told me she needs more space. I said no problem and locked her out of the house.
My wife and I have been married for quite a few years and my wife asked me recently to get some pills that would make sure I’d be up to some action in the bedroom again.
I brought home diet pills. Apparently very much not what she meant.What to give a man who’s got everything? A woman. She’ll tell him how everything works.I think as marriages go, we’re doing absolutely awesome, I mean I get to sleep with my wife nearly every day!
I tried to re-marry my ex-wife.
When I married Donna, I could get both hands around her waist,” said my husband’s grandfather. Pointing at his full-figured wife, he boasted, “Now look how much I got. That’s what I call an investment!”
But she figured out I was only after my money.I got a call telling me my wife’s been taken to the hospital.
“Oh my Lord, how is she?!” I asked.
“I’m sorry to say she’s critical,” said the nurse.
“What the heck is she complaining about again?!”
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age.”
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
“Well”, he replied. “I said I was 87!”
”A chubby wife and tired husband went to a psychologist and asked how they can live a happy life, we fight every day, the psychologist said ‘’’ wife and husband are two tires of life,, husband contravened,’’ if one tire of the car and one of the tractor , what about this?”
”A man married with two ladies, he tried his whole life to give them everything equally, even the purchase bread , he cut them in two pieces , if he purchase shoes for one, same shoes for other, same dress for both, unfortunately, both of his wives died on the same day, he buried them and prayed, same night he dreamed, one of his wives was saying ‘’ while burying you stood 3.5 minutes on her grave while 3.4 minutes on my grave”
”When wife ask ‘’ do you think am gaining weight?,husband ‘’ no I think the room is getting smaller”
Marriage is an institution of three rings. Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
A robber robs a bank, gets all the money and is about to leave, but before that he asks a customer who’s lying on the floor, “Have you seen me rob this bank?”
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Marriage is a short break between novels.
Congratulations! God, bless you today and for the rest of your married lives.
Let good luck and understanding stay with you forever! Happy wedding day.
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“Yes, sir,” says the customer and gets promptly shot.
“Have you seen me rob this bank?” the robber asks another customer.
“Absolutely not, sir, but my wife here saw everything!”“Darling, can I go out in this dress?”
“Yes dear, it’s already dark out.”Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: “Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?”
Wife looks confused: “But that’s your task, honey.”“What? Why?”
“It’s all over the Bible, dearest.”
“The Bible says nothing about who’s supposed to be brewing coffee!”
”How sounds these words, wife, knife?”
Wedding Quotes funny wishes
Marriage is all about given and take, more u will give, more he will take”
”Marriage is the combination of compromise and communication, she is doing communication and you should do compromise”
”A blind husband and deaf wife make a perfect couple”
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. – Rita Rudner
Husbands are the best people to share your secrets with. They’ll never tell anyone because they aren’t even listening.
If at first you don’t succeed..try doing it the way your wife told you.
Marriage is a workshop..where husband works & wife shops..
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.
”People say opposite attracts, then I will give u suggestion run faster and away from this attraction”
”From available to busy, from money to without money, from hairs to without hairs, think a hundred times if you want to marry”
”My friend stays happy all the time when he decided to marry”
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
He stole my heart so I am planning revenge..I am going to take his Last Name.
Two golden rules to a happy marriage: 1. The wife is always right. 2. When you feel she is wrong slap yourself and read rule no. 1 again.
Marriage let you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore..
If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married.
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
”Marriage is when a man loses his bachelors degree and a woman gets her masters degree”
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
If you marry one woman, she will fight with you. But, if you marry 2 women, they will fight for you. Think different ???? LOL
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; She will be all ears.
When a women says “WHAT?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you, she’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
The most important words for successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.’
Always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself; not what’s left over after you have given your best to everyone else.
Me and my wife live happily for 25 years..then we met!!
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it away.
When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you’re sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.
To keep your marriage brimming with love in the cup, Whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right shut up.
Married life is not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.
”In life, a jump comes which can make your life like a jail if you can pass this jump you are married if you don t you are married”
Funny Wedding Quotes
Children sleep early, mature sleep late, legends fight all night”
”Marriage is the bond btw person, who never remember anniversaries , and other who never forgets them”
”Marriage is a combination of two words, marry and age, enjoy when you are aged”
”A man is incomplete until he is married, after that he finished”
A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships,all the enjoyment of sense and reason – and indeed all the sweets of life.” ~Joseph Addison
“A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man lovesthe girl he marries.” ~ anonymous
“You don’t need to be on the same wavelength to succeed inmarriage. You just need to be able to ride each other’s waves.” ~ Toni SciarraPoynter
“Spouse: someone who’ll stand by you through all the troubleyou wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single.” ~ Anonymous
“We don’t love qualities, we love persons; sometimes byreason of their defects as well as of their qualities.” ~ Jacques Maritain
“Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.” –Samuel Johnson
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,and always with the same person.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin
“The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – theymature slowly.” ~Peter De Vries
“To keep the fire burning brightly there’s one easy rule:Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enoughapart – about a finger’s breadth – for breathing room. Good fire, goodmarriage, same rule.” ~Marnie ReedCrowell
“A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop wordswhen speech becomes superfluous.” ~ Ingrid Bergmen
“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads,hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” ~Simone Signoret
“A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet andtwo solos at the same time.” ~ Anne Taylor Fleming
“Woke up in bed with a gorgeous woman, who I’m going to have lunch and the rest of my life with.” ~ Jason Barmer
Happy Marriage Quotes
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.”~ Albert Einstein
“One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.” ~ Judith Viorst
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